The Power of Naming: Helping Kids Manage Big Feelings with Narrative Therapy

Written by [Haythem Lafhaj]

Children often experience emotions like crashing waves—powerful, fast, and hard to describe. As therapists, one of our greatest tools is helping them name what they feel. Narrative Therapy offers a developmentally rich way to do just that: externalize the problem, build emotional language, and empower young clients to take control of their story.

Rather than asking children to explain why they’re angry or anxious (which they often can’t), Narrative Therapy helps them describe how “the Anger Monster” shows up, or what “the Worry Voice” tells them to do. These metaphors make big emotions manageable. They give kids psychological distance and help them realize: they are not the problem.

This externalization technique, rooted in the work of Michael White and David Epston (1990), invites children into a collaborative, imaginative process. The therapist isn’t diagnosing—they’re co-authoring. Together, we explore the influence of “Anger,” how it tries to take over during transitions, or what “Shame” whispers when mistakes are made.

In a recent session, a child shared that “Frustration gets really loud when my stepdad changes the rules.” We didn’t analyze or correct—we validated. Then we explored what the child does that “Frustration hates.” Suddenly, the child was listing strengths: deep breaths, asking for help, walking away. Narrative work reveals the skills children already have but may not recognize.

Narrative Therapy also invites caregivers into the process. Instead of focusing on behavior management, we help families rewrite the story of how they support emotional growth. A formerly overwhelmed parent might say, “We’re becoming a family that listens before reacting.”

For PLMFTs working with children, this approach is more than playful—it’s profound. It shows us that kids don’t just need coping strategies. They need storytelling tools that help them feel heard, safe, and strong.

References:
White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.
Anderson, H. (1997). Conversation, Language, and Possibilities: A Postmodern Approach to Therapy.