Becoming an LMFT: What They Don’t Tell You About the Journey

Written by [Haythem Lafhaj]

Ask any licensed therapist how they got where they are, and they’ll probably sigh, smile, and say something like, “It was a journey.” They’re right. Becoming a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) is not just about clocking hours—it’s about cultivating identity, integrity, and resilience along the way.

As a PLMFT, I’ve come to see licensure not as a finish line, but as a rite of passage. The process—graduate education, supervised experience, passing the licensing exam—is rigorous by design. It demands not just clinical skill, but self-awareness, ethical maturity, and a steady commitment to growth.

One of the most eye-opening lessons I’ve learned is that the codes of ethics aren’t just a rulebook. They are a living framework for complex decision-making. The seasoned LMFT I interviewed shared how real-life dilemmas often fall into grey zones. In one case, confidentiality had to be carefully breached to protect a client from harm. The decision wasn’t made lightly—it was weighed with legal knowledge, ethical consultation, and a deep sense of responsibility.

That same therapist emphasized something else we don’t hear enough: the emotional labor of this work is real. Holding space for others requires boundaries, support, and intentional self-care. No grad school lecture prepares you for what it feels like to carry someone’s trauma story home in your chest. But supervision, mentorship, and peer connection make it bearable—and meaningful.

The licensure journey also requires cultural humility. As Sue & Sue (2016) note, therapists must continuously examine their own values, biases, and cultural lenses. Clients will bring lives that challenge your assumptions. That’s not a threat—it’s a gift, and a reminder that therapy is always a two-way encounter.

Becoming an LMFT isn’t about mastering therapy—it’s about becoming the kind of person who can hold the complexity of human experience with steadiness and care. That takes time. And that’s okay.

References:
Sue, D. W., & Sue, D. (2016). Counseling the Culturally Diverse: Theory and Practice.
Corey, G., Corey, M. S., & Callanan, P. (2018). Issues and Ethics in the Helping Professions (10th ed.).
Fisher, C. B. (2017). Decoding the Ethics Code: A Practical Guide for Psychologists.