Narrative Therapy and Caregiving Challenges: Reframing Family Stress into Resilience

Written by Haythem Lafhaj, PLMFT

Caring for an aging parent or a loved one with chronic illness is one of the most profound responsibilities families face. It can also be one of the most stressful. Couples often find themselves caught between love, obligation, and exhaustion. While caregiving can bring families closer, it can just as easily strain marriages, erode communication, and lead to resentment.

As both a therapist and someone who has seen caregiving struggles within my extended family, I know how heavy these challenges can feel. What I’ve also seen—and what therapy confirms—is that the way families frame their caregiving story makes all the difference. This is where Narrative Therapy offers powerful tools for resilience.

The Caregiving Dilemma

Imagine a couple who suddenly find themselves providing daily care for an aging parent who moves in due to health issues. Their home, once a space of intimacy and rest, now feels like a medical ward. The partner who assumes most of the caregiving role may feel invisible and unsupported, while the other feels torn between loyalty to their parent and their spouse.

These are not just logistical struggles; they are emotional narratives shaping how the couple views each other and their future. If the dominant story becomes “We are trapped by this burden,” the relationship suffers. But if they can shift the narrative toward “We are a team facing a difficult challenge together,” resilience and intimacy grow.

What Is Narrative Therapy?

Narrative Therapy is built on a simple but profound idea: we are not the problem; the problem is the problem. By separating people from the issues they face, families can reclaim agency and rewrite their stories in ways that highlight strengths rather than deficits.

For caregiving couples, this means externalizing the stress—seeing “caregiving fatigue” as a challenge outside the relationship, not as a flaw within either partner. This shift reduces blame and opens space for collaboration.

Applying Narrative Therapy to Caregiving

Based on my work and research, here are some practical ways couples can use Narrative Therapy principles in caregiving contexts:

Externalize the Stress

Instead of saying, “You never help me,” try reframing: “Caregiving fatigue is taking too much space in our marriage.” This simple shift redirects the conflict away from the partner and onto the shared challenge.

Re-author the Story

Couples can reflect on times they successfully navigated challenges together. Highlighting these stories helps them remember their resilience and apply those same strengths to caregiving.

Deconstruct Harmful Beliefs

Cultural and societal expectations often tell families that caregiving must be endured silently or that one partner should bear the responsibility. Narrative Therapy helps couples question these beliefs, making space for shared responsibility and healthier dynamics.

Witnessing and Validation

Partners can take turns listening to each other’s caregiving stories without judgment. Being heard transforms isolation into connection.

Cultural Perspectives on Caregiving

In many cultures, including my Tunisian heritage, caregiving is seen as a sacred duty—often falling heavily on women. While this sense of duty can provide meaning, it can also create guilt and burnout. Narrative Therapy allows families to honor cultural values of care and respect while also rewriting stories to include balance, partnership, and self-care.

For immigrant families, caregiving often occurs in the context of acculturation stress, financial pressure, and lack of extended support. Framing these challenges as external pressures rather than personal failures helps couples protect their bond while navigating cultural complexities.

Closing Thoughts

Caregiving challenges will always be part of family life. But they don’t have to define relationships as burdensome or broken. With Narrative Therapy, couples can reframe their stories, reclaim resilience, and transform caregiving from a source of conflict into an expression of shared strength.

By seeing themselves as partners in writing a new story—one of compassion, teamwork, and cultural respect—families can find meaning even in the hardest of seasons.