Holding Both: Navigating Trauma and Cultural Strength in Black and Muslim Families

Written by [Haythem Lafhaj]

Black and Muslim families often carry two stories at once: one of trauma and one of strength. As therapists, we must be skilled in holding both. If we focus only on pain, we risk reinforcing narratives of damage. If we focus only on resilience, we risk bypassing grief. Healing begins when we honor the full complexity.

Many African American families have endured generations of systemic racism, incarceration, and community violence. Muslim families may be navigating Islamophobia, cultural displacement, and intergenerational conflict between traditional and Western values. These are not just “stressors”—they are lived realities that must be acknowledged with respect and sensitivity.

At the same time, both communities possess deep wells of strength: communal support, spiritual grounding, cultural pride, and creative survival. Whether through mosque community, church kinship, or storytelling across kitchen tables, these traditions offer emotional infrastructure that sustains mental health.

Therapists must avoid the trap of over-pathologizing or “othering” these families. Instead, we ask: How has your community helped you make sense of this pain? What are the survival stories in your lineage? We do not treat culture as a backdrop—we treat it as central.

Narrative Therapy offers a powerful tool here. By identifying dominant discourses (e.g., “Black men are dangerous” or “Muslim women are oppressed”) and helping clients reclaim their own truths, we facilitate liberation—not just insight. And through culturally attuned Bowenian work, we trace how generational responses to oppression have shaped emotional roles and boundaries within the family system.

Culturally affirming therapy does not reduce clients to either struggle or strength. It honors both. And it says: your story matters—every part of it.

References:
White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends.
Sue, D. W., & Sue, D. (2016). Counseling the Culturally Diverse: Theory and Practice.
Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice.