Back-to-School Stress: Helping Kids and Teens Transition with Resilience
Written by Haythem Lafhaj, PLMFT
The end of summer brings mixed emotions for many families. Children shift from long days of play, freedom, and family time to the structured routines of classrooms, homework, and social dynamics. For parents, this season often carries its own stress: new schedules, financial demands, and concern about how their children will adjust. As both a therapist and a father, I’ve seen how this transition can deeply affect family life—and how intentional support can make the difference between a stressful adjustment and a resilient one.
Why Back-to-School Stress Matters
Research shows that transitions are especially challenging for children and teens because they disrupt familiar routines and introduce new expectations. For younger children, separation anxiety may resurface. For adolescents, returning to school may mean facing bullying, identity challenges, or peer pressure.
In my own Tunisian upbringing, the start of the school year was not just about academics—it was about belonging. The classroom wasn’t only a place for learning; it was a social stage where identity, confidence, and family values were tested daily. Today, I see many immigrant and bicultural families navigating these same pressures with their children in the U.S., balancing cultural expectations at home with the realities of American school culture.
Common Signs of School Transition Stress
Parents often notice subtle changes in behavior before children can voice their worries. Some common signs include:
Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
Increased irritability or emotional outbursts
Avoidance of school-related conversations
Somatic complaints like headaches or stomachaches
Withdrawal from friends or family
Recognizing these signals early allows families to respond with empathy rather than discipline, creating space for healing conversations.
Building Resilience at Home
In my clinical work, I often turn to Strategic Family Therapy (SFT) when addressing transitional stress. SFT emphasizes changing interaction patterns within the family system, which is especially helpful when stress spills over from school into home life. For example, when a teen withdraws after being bullied, parents may respond with frustration instead of curiosity, unintentionally deepening the disconnect. By shifting these interaction patterns—encouraging open dialogue, affirming strengths, and modeling calm problem-solving—families create a foundation of resilience.
Parents can also use practical strategies such as:
Creating predictable routines: Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Establishing consistent morning and evening rituals can reduce anxiety.
Collaborative problem-solving: Ask children what part of the school day feels hardest and brainstorm solutions together. This promotes agency and confidence.
Strength-based focus: Celebrate small wins—whether finishing homework or making a new friend—to reinforce resilience.
The Role of Culture and Community
For many immigrant families, school transitions are layered with cultural adaptation. A child may be expected to succeed academically while also navigating a different language or social code. Parents, too, may feel judged by unfamiliar school systems. Here, community support becomes vital. Connecting with cultural centers, faith communities, or other families with similar backgrounds can provide both children and parents with a sense of belonging.
As a Tunisian-American therapist, I encourage families to honor their heritage while embracing the new environment. When children see their culture valued at home, they approach school with stronger self-esteem and a clearer sense of identity.
Closing Thoughts
The back-to-school season doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With intentional strategies, cultural sensitivity, and family collaboration, this transition can be an opportunity for growth. By recognizing stress early, adjusting family interactions, and fostering resilience, parents can help their children enter the school year not just prepared—but empowered.